I have been sitting in silence this morning. Yet my mind races with an obscene amount of questions and ideas of many random things that from what I can tell, have no connection.
There has to be a connection somehow.
I received a magazine in the mail the other day and it was addressed to both my husband and I. We looked it over and we made the loop of our nightly walk together after dinner.
“I didn’t order this” I said to him, “I’ve never even seen this magazine before”.
He thumbs through it while juggling the mail and puffing ona cigar, before finally handing it all over to me so he can get a closer look at this magazine. It was from our realtor, from 8 years ago when she sold us our home.
She published a friggin’ magazine.
I was jealous.
No, I was beyond, without a doubt, envious. So unbelievably envious.
And of course, there went my mind spinning out of control over the next couple of days trying to figure out ways to accomplish this.
My mind won’t stop. I hope this is not another one of my crazy ideas that I get overly obsessed with and lose sleep over.
My painting on the weekends is the cause of my mind opening up to all these ideas. I just may be getting my artistic expression back after all of these years.
10 to be exact. 10 years. I thought I would never be creative again. And it just happened. Over one day of picking up a paint brush.
What a blessing in disguise, I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am. I seriously thought I had lost it.
I know it has been awhile since I’ve written anything. Busy at work with the end of year and entering the new budget, I am trying to get caught up on new policies, contracts, and updates. Before I know it, the Adult Learning Program will have their fall classes ready to publish and the phones will be non-stop. I ordered new phones for the staff as we head into this new fiscal year of changes. And I admit, am WAY to excited to receive them in the mail!
I haven’t been sleeping as I am consumed with work and family concerns. Diving into both my art and the backyard, I have found my connection again.
Once lost, I realize my art completely relaxes me. Also, on the note of relaxation, we have a new volunteer in the office, a masseuse, who comes a couple times a month with her equipment to provide the staff with massages. Oh…..my……gosh. Much needed after 50 hour work weeks.
Anyway, I am taking all of my free time AND what little energy I have and thrusting it into my art. Since my preference is chalk pastels, it is too difficult to clean up a dusty mess in our home and my hubby says, “nope, not in the house” so I have been dappling in watercolor as you all may have seen.
We have so many fawns around our work and this is the first attempt of watercolor, I have painted of any animal. Poor thing.
Loving baby animals, I have been painting all sorts of creatures. Some turn out okay, while others? Well….
Like I said, some are “eh” but I am not complaining because they are what they are.
What I can say, is I am not sure how much longer I will keep this blog. It is not that I don’t enjoy writing, but honestly, I don’t enjoy writing as much as I thought I would. I love, love, LOVE painting and my newest, gardening. I think I will stick with that. My subscription is up here at the end of August. I started my blog for a couple different reasons.
The first was to grieve my father. He will be gone one full year August 8th, 2019. And I just cannot believe it has been a year. The second reason was my bucket list. I wanted a blog, to try it. And I did. So now what? My father is gone and I have tried the blog. Moving on? I simply do…not…know.
However, I do have a few weeks to write and this will give me the opportunity to re-hash my thoughts.
Friday I took the day off to see the chiropractor about adjusting me after my fall last week. He asked what I did and I told him and while I was on the table he scoffed, “oh yeah, you really needed me.” The pain was instantly gone. He is THAT good. I felt this mad rush of heat, almost sweet relief come over my spine, up my neck and flushed around my face. That was it. He hit it dead on. He adjusted my hips and flipped my legs side to side like a limp rag doll. “Better isn’t it? You’re more limber than you were when you walked in.” I sighed and muffled a “yes” as my face was plastered into the table. He is the only one I will see, the only one I trust. I have known him for years. I stood up and hung on for dear life as my body adjusted to the corrected position. A little dizzy but instant relief.
After that, my next appointment was to see the optometrist, AGAIN. 4th or 5th appointment and my left eye was still blurry. After I sat down and popped the new order of lenses in, I yelled “YAAAAY! FINALLY I CAN SEE!!!”
He whipped around in his rolling chair with a surprised look and flatly stated, “really.”
“Yes, really let’s order these.”
“Are you sure?” He tilted his head sarcastically.
He can be so professional but snarky at the same time.
“Yes I’m sure.” And I rolled my eyes.
He hesitated for a moment. “YES REALLY!” I reassured him. He slowly turned back around. I have seen him as well for years and decided I will be sad the day he decides to retire. My appointments always take forever because I love talking to him.
After that I was onto the next appointment that I care not to discuss.
However, today I felt like a new woman and I had bought some plants for my goth garden. I decided I want, not only near black plants, but weird ones too.
Then get this….a couple of weeks ago I found some faux stone at a second hand store for housing design. I drove to it today to see what they wanted for the stone. The gal told me $1.75 a piece and I thought, NO WAY AM I PAYING THAT. My gosh it’s faux stone and used for crying out loud. She asked me how many pieces did I want. I told her, “you give me a good deal and I will buy what you have. She stood there a minute and said, “ok, how about $6 for all of it?”
I was secretly giddy inside. I said, “you have a deal!” They sell faux stone by the pound but I wasn’t going to tell her that. I came home, my car trunk full. I immediately ripped out the wood path I made a few weeks ago and put the stone in. Now I have the look of an old garden path.
The plants I bought were Elephant Bush, Elephant Ear, Black Mondo Grass, Sedum, a 3 more weird things I can’t remember the names.
But the best part is the sconces I had forgotten about. We have had them for years and I’m going to hang them on the fence. What do you think? I think it will give an eerie look to the garden at night. I have so much more to add and so many more weeds to pull and so many more plants to purchase. I must be patient! My hips are still swollen and my back is still sore. I don’t want to over do it!
I faced my fears this morning and crawled half way under our deck and collected rocks for my goth garden.
In my pajamas.
Before you start thinking, what the heck is this girl doing? Let me tell you how it started.
I was feeling pretty good this morning after taking a Benadryl. I wasn’t sneezing as bad as I had been, but I wanted to sit out back without my allergies kicking up. So I took a Benadryl and sat in our patio chairs with my husband and a hot cup of coffee. Peaceful.
All was well until I saw a weed in the flower bed in front of our deck. Not thinking much of it, I hopped up and pulled the weed.
Then I saw another. Then another. So I put on my gardening gloves sat down on the edge of the stones, in my robe and PJs and started pulling weeds.
Then I was too warm. I pulled my robe off and continued. I leaned over and looked under the deck.
“OOOOOO! Look at that rock! Look at ALL of these rocks! I need it.”
Isn’t this an awesome rock? It’s like a pyramid!
My husband, not looking up from his iPad, said, “I wouldn’t be crawling under there.”
So I went back to weeding.
But I wanted that rock!
But how was I going to get it? No way am I crawling under there. There are weird things like spiders and bugs.
But I wanted that rock.
So I grabbed the rake, leaned over and pulled the rock closer to me within reach. Not bad! Then I saw another. As I continued to pull rocks over to me, my husband started trimming a few of our ornamental grasses.
By now I was on my knees, in this weird yoga-like position trying to reach a rock further under the deck. It was just out of reach. I leaned in further.
Then I saw it. I had seen it before, but forgot about it. It was the wannabe dead body. It scares me everytime and my husband is now laughing at me, “oh my gosh you’re crazy up underneath there!”
Doesn’t it look like a dead body? It freaks me out! I think I have been watching too many “Bones” episodes. I crawled back out and stood up to take the rocks I collected over to the side yard.
“Ick, I feel like I have bugs crawling all over me”. As I was heading to the side yard, my husband snuck up behind me with some of the ornamental grass clippings and touched my shoulder. I pretty much came out of my skin!
That man laughed and laughed! Not funny. I’ll get him back…
Look at all of these rocks I got!
I think I’m done for the day. Last day of my vacation and I’m sad. Usually I’m ready to go back to work, but this vacation was unbelievably relaxing and I would love to stay home a few more days.
Enjoy your Sunday and if you are looking for rocks, happy rock hunting!
I was cleaning out a few drawers this morning and came across this picture, a past co-worker drew me. He gave it to me when he put his two week notice in to retire. I cried. We had worked together for 5 years and he was the one on my interview team I swore I wouldn’t like or get along with. And ironically, he was the closest to me. He was my work spouse. And the sick, twisted medical humor that would come out of that man’s mouth would keep me in stitches.
Do you have a work spouse? As noted above, Bill was my work spouse when I worked at the hospital. He was the charge nurse, and I, the secretary. We worked together pretty much the same rotating schedule. Those were the good days. We both had a sick sense of medical humor that only the two of us could appreciate. But we had to, to keep positive with some of the things we experienced.
Bill’s opposite scheduled co-worker, named Dan, worked with me two or so days every other week. Dan was my part time work spouse. And some shifts, Dan and I would laugh so hard, we’d cry and we could hardly keep it together to do the simplest tasks such as answer the phone.
One time it had been a bad night and I was annoyed at something and I made a crude, vulgar comment (I won’t repeat). Dan said, “well I can’t imagine what that would look like, how does that work?” and he started to move around in his chair like he was trying to mimick my comment. He looked so stupid, I lost it. I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see from all the tears. With Dan, it didn’t take much to make him laugh and once I started laughing, he would start. That was it. We couldn’t gain composure. The phone rang and neither of us could answer. The longer the phone rang, the funnier it was, the harder we laughed. Eventually I picked it up but I couldn’t udder the words for a greeting. It was a good thing we all worked the swing shift and not day shift because we would have been in the boss’s office, Miss Prudy McPrudence. If we were too noisy, she would put an orange cone on our desk in front of us and say “cone of silence.” Just like a kindergarten teacher would do.
Another coworker, Charity, also my best friend, had me laughing over dinner one evening. So hard, its a wonder I didn’t choke. She was telling me about how her daughter-in-law has the perfect back; one you would see painted in a portrait off the side of a bathtub. As the conversation continued, I made the comment about her back. Her response was, “I’ve never seen my back.” Now, it may not seem funny to you, but in the cafeteria of the hospital, all eyes were on us because of my laughing and she couldn’t understand why it was so funny until I explained the context of it. That did it. We laughed until we cried. Our sides ached from laughter and being full of food.
My best friend Carla, growing up we would laugh hard. So hard, that her drink would undoubtedly ALWAYS come out of her nose. We still have a good laugh occasionally and I am thankful I have her as my best friend. Good times. I wish they would never end.
When I left the hospital, I hadn’t laughed like that in a very long time. Then I worked closely with a Practioner at events named Adi. He was young enough to be my adult son. Between our marketing sales strategies, we would people watch. And people comment. Need I say more? Sometimes we would laugh so hard one of use would have to walk away to gain composure.
Since then, I have held 3 more jobs and I have never laughed that hard at work since then. I laugh hard with my husband, but not at work. Maybe it’s maturity in my roles, or maybe the moment hasn’t arrived. I do laugh, but not deep, lose composure, side-splitting laughter. Maybe someday something will strike me funny, probably when I least expect it.
Laughter by all means is the best medicine. If you can’t laugh, and I mean laugh until you can’t breathe, laugh until your side hurts, then you are not humbled in life. It’s those moments that provide us with the ultimate memories and relationships, no matter how long those relationships last.