Random action yesterday morning at 4:30. After a cup of coffee I jumped out of my cozy bed, dressed and grabbed my tennis shoes. My dog, heard the door of the shoe closet and peaked her head around the corner.
She looked up at me.
She looked at my shoes.
She looked up at me, then back to my shoes.
I said, “come on!”
She was puzzled. Until I grabbed her harness. If she could have talked, I’m positive she would have said, “whaaaat? Are you serious? We never walk this early! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, OH MY GOSH!!!!”
It was invigorating before a long day at work. Too much to do and by the time 3pm hits, my brain says, “okay I’m done” and my eyes start fogging over, lacking clarity, fuzzy. But I have another hour, I argue. But my brain doesn’t care. “Nope. We’re done. Go file or something.” I wonder if it would be different if I slept in later?
Today, the morning walk is not happening. My eyes are partially swollen from allergies, the dang cotton wood. My knees ache. It is intermittently raining. 2 more days. I just have to make it 2…More…Days.
Lately, age terrifies me. The little aches and random pains. The realization after a long walk, I am truly tired the next day, rather than invigorated. My memory not as sharp as it was.
I’m not old, but it is creeping up on me. And I don’t like it. I struggle between the “I don’t care anymore attitude” and shear panic. No in between.
And it’s only Thursday.