Robin Likes to Talk

Pssst…hey you there…stupid woman…

Ugh, the coffee is taking forever to brew this morning. It’s Thursday and I’m tired; my mind and body weary. I’m cranky too. Come on coffee, hurry up. Oh…well, it might help if I remember to put the water in. OMG whatever.

Two days now my husband has forgotten to turn off his alarm. 2 a.m. and I’m crawling across our bed like a sniper in mud during an Easter egg hunt. He’s not even in bed. I can hear him sloppin’ around in his slippers, back and forth from the kitchen to the garage, to the kitchen, then the living room. His morning ritual. Coffee, cigar, coffee, fireplace. He turned the heater on this morning, and when his alarm woke me up I could feel webs of cotton starting to sprout in my mouth from dry, warm air. I needed water. I couldn’t swallow in fear of my delicate throat tissue would permantly fuse together. I could die. Death by throat tissue fusion, husband at fault. That’s what the obituary would say.

As the week drones on, my mind starts going on strike. Like this morning trying to brew coffee without water. By the end of the week I am misplacing things or making several trips to a room to get something but not remembering what exactly. My cup of coffee, I misplace that ALL the time. Then find it in odd, random places an hour later. Sometimes a day later. Then the little distant subconscious voice in my head scolds me. “You stupid, STUPID woman! Why the heck would you put it right there?!? What is wrong with you?!?” Shut up.

We all have those little scolding voices. The underlying thoughts we keep to ourselves. A few weeks back I misplaced a pair of panties. My husband said to me, “what are you doing?” “I’m looking for something” as I’m rummaging through everything in the house, scanning countertops as I go. 10 minutes later I’m in the closet, he walks in. I turn to him and say, “if you randomly find some panties they’re mine and will you please put them on the bathroom counter?” He uncontrollably starts laughing. “It’s not funny” as I continue to dig through the drawer. He says, “What I want to know is who else’s panties would they belong to?” I pause and look at him. “Why do you have to be like that?” He sensed my irritation then adds, “You’re never going to hear the end of it from that little voice with this episode, she is really going to have alot to say. She is going to curse you out and I’m going to laugh”. He thinks my subconscious voice is hilarious. I stop and look at him again. He turns and loudly laughs as he walks out of the closet. I can hear him talking outloud about it. Who’s talking to who now? I’m over it.

It’s the end of the week weariness, Thursday. Even though I’m tired, today will be a good day. Even though I’m weary, I will carry on, and drink an extra cup of coffee. I will smile, laugh, love. And in exactly 8 minutes, I will peel the blanket from me, peel myself from my cozy, warm sofa and start my day.

3 Replies to “Pssst…hey you there…stupid woman…”

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