I try. I try to stay organized at home and limit paper clutter. Paper clutter drives me insane. I also try to stay ahead of the game and decide to address the Christmas cards I painted this year. I pull out my address book and shuffle through the pages.
What the heck? All this stuff falls out. I have ripped return labels and a zillion business cards falling out of every crevice of my stupid, outdated, why do I still have this and nobody uses address book. Instantly annoyed. I know, I know, you are probably reading this and asking, she still keeps a paper address book? Some of you may even ask, she sends out Christmas cards? I do…get over it.
But why? This is my question. Why do I have business cards to people I am pretty sure I will never contact! Literally this is what I found in my address book:
1. One card to my dogs’ veterinarian…who has retired.
2. One card to my son’s oral surgeon from 2010. ???
3. One card to my neighbor. Wait, what? I don’t know. But yes, it’s true.
4. One card to my real estate agent when we bought our home.
5. One card to our mortgage lender when we bought our home.
6. One card to my son’s orthodontics. Ugh, like forever ago.
7. One card to my hairdresser. Actually this is the 3rd, 4th, or 5th card, maybe more….because I have one on the fridge, at least one in my car and 2 in my wallet. And her number is saved in my phone. Hmmmm…. so why do I have multiple cards?
8. I have one card to my dermatologic surgeon, which I actually have used in the past for cosmetic stuff, so this one is a keeper. I may need to pretty myself up again someday when I find the time. Or if pretty is even possible.
9. There are 9 paper scraps of random addresses.
10. Only 11 incorrect addresses and I don’t know the current addresses. Obviously I didn’t want to keep in touch. Not worthy of my stupid, outdated paper address book. Ha! Poof, be gone!
11. 4 addresses to people who are dead.
12. 3 addresses to people who are dead to me.
13. 8 addresses to people I will never write to, not even sure if the addresses are correct, but the idea sounds lovely but we all know it will never happen because I really don’t care if I stay in touch or not. And even if I did, it would be then and only then, once contact was made, I would ask myself, I don’t recall why I would ever stay in touch with this person.
14. 8 addresses to family members I have never met. At least I don’t think I have ever met.
15. 11 people left. Correct addresses. No, one address could be iffy. I won’t count this person. 10 people left. Five of them are getting Christmas cards. I have eight stamps. This has worked to my advantage and I have come out ahead.
Now I need a pen. One that won’t smudge. A nice, smooth writing, ball point pen. A ball point pen that actually has ink. That actually writes. In my jar I have 13 pens….