When my mind consumes my body, my every last thought is brought to surface. Frustrations, obligations, guilt, and nightmares, keeping me up half the night tossing and turning.
I slept, for the most part, pretty good last night. I was awake at 3:15 am this morning consumed by my day, my week, family, holidays. Why does this happen?
I used to have terrible nightmares when I was younger. When I was really young, I was terrified of tornadoes, sucking the life out of me. As I grew older, the nightmares turned from tornadoes to steam engine trains. As an adult, all my dreams or nightmares are so bazaar, so wacky, so third-world weird I couldn’t even begin to explain them.
There was a period of life I took part of my dreams and the stress going on in my life and grouped them together into a pencil-drawing collage. Yes, this is how my mind works. Always churning, never stopping.
I have several of these drawings in different layouts tucked away in my home. Some are finished, some not, some left untouched for years and one particular I was awarded for, I named “Binge & Purge” and it was published in an Arts, Literary and Music Magazine.
There was so much going on in my life then, when I finished Binge & Purge – I won’t speak about it.
I haven’t gathered my thought to start another, buy maybe I should. Another collage of during this time of my life; my overwhelmed thought process might give me peace of mind to sleep sound. The feel and sound of the charcoal and pencil crossing the paper, my fingers blackened from blending and smearing, the smell of the dust; oh how it brings me centered, brings me peace.