Oh the dreaded 3 am. I get mad when I wake up before my alarm, but when my alarm goes off, it makes me just as mad. I did not sleep well last night. I woke up several times in a pool of sweat. Ah yes, this is my new found friend i’ve been experiencing over the past few weeks. Power surges. I refuse to call them hot flashes, because that means it’s the next stage of aging and well, you all know how I feel about that.
I like to think I can blame these power surges on sulphites. Yes wine. I can’t drink red wine because of this and I’ve been apt to only drinking Moscato because it has little effect on my allergies (another story for later). But just about the time I switched from the “getting to sweet for me” Moscato to the “not so red” Rose`, theses power surges started. Coincidence? Maybe….Probably, because I didn’t have any wine for a week and still had these power surges. I must admit they weren’t AS bad though. It could be stress. It could be grief. Our bodies react to elements in life mysterious ways.
I had a partial hysterectomy when I was about 26. Yes, I was very young, but I was having serious problems. My husband and I talked it over about the possibility of wanting more children later, but we had the perfect balance, a boy and a girl. Surgery it was.
I still have my ovaries and for the longest time I still experienced cramps, mood swings and bloating. All these have slowly faded over the course of the years and a few years ago I went for my annual exam and questioned menopause. My mother had gone through it fairly young and my surgeon had told me I was more likely to experience it sooner since my mother went through it at a younger age, and since I had the hysterectomy early… even though she didn’t take the girls out.
As I’m lying there in a lifeless room, in stirrups, exposed to old magazines with models staring into my deep abyss, my doctor comes in and whisks around the room like a fly trapped in the house. The whole time she’s talking 90 miles a minute, making small talk; how are you, do you have any problems, how’s your sex life, what have you been up too….GEESH WOMAN!! So I ask her about menopause. She pauses with all cold equipment freezing my inner core to ask me more questions then starts poking around with q-tips and blatantly states, “No signs of menopause here. You have a very healthy vagina!” Wow. I didn’t even know how to respond to that comment.
I go home and later my husband comes in from work and asks how my day was. I tell him I have a very healthy vagina according to the doctor. Oh the look on his face; I had to clarify that comment.
It was kind of reassuring to think I still had life left in me and my vagina wasn’t growing cobwebs or getting moldy. As I get older and these power surges are obviously not going away, and are not just limited to the night, I think another trip to the doctor is in order.
I don’t want this. What woman does? Yet I can’t continue to wake up swimming in sweat because one of these days I might drown.